There But For The
This book had two five star reviews on Amazon and has an interesting premise, that's why I chose it. Apparently it was also well reviewed by The Guardian. A couple in Greenwich hold a dinner party, one of their guests Mark brings a friend Miles, between the main course and the sweet, Miles locks himself in the spare room and refuses to leave, this lasts for days, then weeks then months.
The blurb of the book says :
Imagine you give a dinner party and a friend of a friend brings a stranger to your house as his guest.
He seems pleasant enough.
Imagine that this stranger goes upstairs halfway through the dinner party and locks himself in one of your bedrooms and won't come out.
Imagine you can't move him for days, weeks, months. If ever.
So, this is the question, and the people this happens to are Genevieve and Eric Lee (Gen and Eric - ooo isn't THAT clever....? Sigh.) Gen and Eric and Miles are the people that are caught in this event, but we do not hear from them. The novel is split into four sections 'There' 'But', 'For' and 'The' and each section focuses on a different character.
'There' introduces Anna who is summoned to Greenwich by Genevieve after she finds Anna's email on Miles' phone, but Anna hasn't seen Miles in nearly twenty years and cannot do anything for Genevieve and cannot explain why he had her email address.
'But' gives us Mark Palmer, the man responsible for bringing Miles to the dinner party but he barely knows him either.
'For' gives us Mary, the most connection she has to Miles is that he still remembers the anniversary of her long dead daughter Jennifer, and visits her or sends a card once a year.
'The' ends the novel with Brooke and the perspective on events of a nine year old who attended the dinner party with parents.
The 'But' section told in the third person about Mark recounts in minute detail the events of the dinner party. Gen, Eric and their friends are revealed to be patronising, self important fools who invited Mark because he was homosexual (my, how interesting) and Brooke's parents because they were black (how disappointing that they were not from Africa, as was thought, but Harrogate) On previous occasions they had included a Jewish and a Palestinian family at one of their soirees. (so entertaining) The dinner party conversation, a long, or it felt long section basically amounts to reading about a group of insufferable people having insufferable conversations. If I had been attending this dinner party I would have made an excuse and left, and that's what I wanted to do with this book, leave. If this book is making any social comment it is about privileged white people looking down their noses at minorities and using them for a curiosity and entertainment value. The fact that the characters are so dislikeable makes it thoroughly unpleasant reading.
In addition, the rest of the book is quite random. We are introduced to elderly Mary in her hospital bed, and are told her story, and you spend the majority of her section wondering who she is, how she connects, and when you discover why she does, what the hell it has to do with anything. Mark's section is random too, a hodge-podge of his inner thoughts and rhymed conversations with his dead mother (Irritating) and then Brooke, the written equivalent of a precocious child talking at you incessantly for a very long time about nothing. Intensely irritating. Waffle.
The really frustrating part of this book is that the true story rests with the characters Gen, Eric and Miles and we hear NOTHING from them. The psychology of an event such as this, the effect of an intruder within your personal home, your space who won't leave, and the psychology of a man who feels the need to do this, the inner workings of his mind whilst isolated in a spare room, are NOT EXPLORED WHATSOEVER. And that is not only what would make the book intriguing, but is also what it falsely purports to be about. Even the introductory section with Anna involves much pointless waffle.
Also, I refuse to believe that the Lee's would have allowed the situation to continue as interminably as they did for the sake of an expensive door. I refuse to believe that the Community Mental Health Services wouldn't have intervened very early on, or at least that the police wouldn't have taken more action than simply knocking on the door. The ending is also a waste of time, a TOTAL anticlimax.
Ridiculously exasperating this novel is without a doubt the worst I have read on this challenge. Pretentious and the worst case of Emperor's New Clothes I have EVER seen. 0/10
Showing posts with label Woeful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Woeful. Show all posts
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Saturday, 7 May 2011
Book #31 The Obelisk by Howard Gordon
The Obelisk
Howard Gordon, debut novelist of this book was previously the executive producer of the hit US TV series 24. His UK publisher Simon and Schuster have exploited this fact to the max by presenting its title in the orange digital clock style synonymous with the series, illustrating it with images in the split-screen style pioneered by 24 and emblazoning it not only with Gordon's credentials but with a quote from Kiefer Sutherland.
Before I get into the business of saying what I thought about this book, I want to say that I was an ardent, die-hard fan of 24, and watched the series through every mole in CTU, every failed love interest, every dead colleague, every disaster to ever befall Kim Bauer and every international crisis averted at the last second by one man wonder Jack Bauer. If this book is aimed at 24 fans and it apparently is then I'm who this book is aimed at.
Or, if you want to be more cynical in your thought process, and really, you should be, Simon and Schuster are exploiting the 24 angle in the shameless way that they are to lure the 24 box set buyers into also buying this. If it were just The Obelisk by some guy named Howard Gordon with no reference to his Hollywood career or association with one of the biggest TV series of the last decade, then this book would probably attract very little attention.
It is the story of Gideon, a UN peacemaker with the ear of the President, who is sent to bring in a rogue agent, who <shock> happens to be his own brother Tillman. Most of the action takes place on an oil rig The Obelisk. So far, so 24. 24 : Day 6 to be precise.
Here's where the similarity ends. With each episode of 24 you found yourself more compelled to see the next, the twists, the revelations, the tension. The silent clocks. Beloved characters suddenly getting bumped off in first episodes. 24, particularly in its early years was a master of : "You didn't see that coming!"
With The Obelisk it isn't that the story is necessarily bad, or even too much of a copycat, it's the fact that Gordon simply sucks as a prose writer. He may have contributed script to 24 episodes over the years but the man is no novelist. It is so cliched at times that it is cringeworthy. From writing cliches such as "that sinking feeling" and "punched in the stomach" to dialogue cliches "if she dies it'll be over my dead body" to plot cliches like the moment our hero has nearly been killed but his first instinct on meeting the heroine is to notice just how beautiful she is. The writing of the ending is so hideously terrible that you can only imagine that Gordon rushed it for a deadline. I've half a mind to spoil it seeing as I don't recommend for a moment you should rush out and read this book, but lets just say references are made to 'a double bed' and 'riding out the storm'. It is CHEESETASTIC.
Also, the villain's motives are decidedly implausible given his history with his targets, nonsensically so. I think that's the best word for the book: Nonsense. As a spy thriller, I'd say it belongs to the world of Lee Child and John Grisham type books but fans of those authors may be insulted. It may be an entertaining airport read for some for good or for so bad its good reasons. My loathing for Dan Brown novels is fairly well known and I'd say that saying this book belongs to The Dan Brown School Of Writing is the most damning verdict I can give it.
With regards to 24, this book can only ever be seen in a much lesser light, a critical light by comparison and so the publishers have somewhat shot themselves in the foot and set it up for failure. But even if there was no link to a hit Hollywood series, this would still be a bloody terrible book
2.5/10
Howard Gordon, debut novelist of this book was previously the executive producer of the hit US TV series 24. His UK publisher Simon and Schuster have exploited this fact to the max by presenting its title in the orange digital clock style synonymous with the series, illustrating it with images in the split-screen style pioneered by 24 and emblazoning it not only with Gordon's credentials but with a quote from Kiefer Sutherland.
Before I get into the business of saying what I thought about this book, I want to say that I was an ardent, die-hard fan of 24, and watched the series through every mole in CTU, every failed love interest, every dead colleague, every disaster to ever befall Kim Bauer and every international crisis averted at the last second by one man wonder Jack Bauer. If this book is aimed at 24 fans and it apparently is then I'm who this book is aimed at.
Or, if you want to be more cynical in your thought process, and really, you should be, Simon and Schuster are exploiting the 24 angle in the shameless way that they are to lure the 24 box set buyers into also buying this. If it were just The Obelisk by some guy named Howard Gordon with no reference to his Hollywood career or association with one of the biggest TV series of the last decade, then this book would probably attract very little attention.
It is the story of Gideon, a UN peacemaker with the ear of the President, who is sent to bring in a rogue agent, who <shock> happens to be his own brother Tillman. Most of the action takes place on an oil rig The Obelisk. So far, so 24. 24 : Day 6 to be precise.
Here's where the similarity ends. With each episode of 24 you found yourself more compelled to see the next, the twists, the revelations, the tension. The silent clocks. Beloved characters suddenly getting bumped off in first episodes. 24, particularly in its early years was a master of : "You didn't see that coming!"
With The Obelisk it isn't that the story is necessarily bad, or even too much of a copycat, it's the fact that Gordon simply sucks as a prose writer. He may have contributed script to 24 episodes over the years but the man is no novelist. It is so cliched at times that it is cringeworthy. From writing cliches such as "that sinking feeling" and "punched in the stomach" to dialogue cliches "if she dies it'll be over my dead body" to plot cliches like the moment our hero has nearly been killed but his first instinct on meeting the heroine is to notice just how beautiful she is. The writing of the ending is so hideously terrible that you can only imagine that Gordon rushed it for a deadline. I've half a mind to spoil it seeing as I don't recommend for a moment you should rush out and read this book, but lets just say references are made to 'a double bed' and 'riding out the storm'. It is CHEESETASTIC.
Also, the villain's motives are decidedly implausible given his history with his targets, nonsensically so. I think that's the best word for the book: Nonsense. As a spy thriller, I'd say it belongs to the world of Lee Child and John Grisham type books but fans of those authors may be insulted. It may be an entertaining airport read for some for good or for so bad its good reasons. My loathing for Dan Brown novels is fairly well known and I'd say that saying this book belongs to The Dan Brown School Of Writing is the most damning verdict I can give it.
With regards to 24, this book can only ever be seen in a much lesser light, a critical light by comparison and so the publishers have somewhat shot themselves in the foot and set it up for failure. But even if there was no link to a hit Hollywood series, this would still be a bloody terrible book
2.5/10
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Book #8 - The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
The Corrections
This post should really be called 'The Problem with The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen" - I haven't finished it and have at present left it dangling in mid air in what is pretty early days of the novel.
It first caught my attention when I read that Oprah Winfrey had tried to select it for her Book Club and had been flatly refused by Franzen, saying he didn't want it to be included among books which he saw as "schmaltzy" and overly sentimental. At some point, he had a change of heart, no doubt realising that an Oprah recommendation creates a massive bump in sales, and has more recently allowed his new work Freedom to be part of Oprah's Book Club. For some reason I got it into my head that The Corrections must be one of the great American novels, and decided I must read it at some point. That point came and although the novel is meant to be about a woman trying to get her three children home for Christmas, I have thus far only read about Chip, one of the sons, a university lecturer who has lost his job following an ill advised relationship with a student and is trying to get a novel published.
The writing is terrible, truly truly terrible, and my tipping point with it came during a sex scene in which a woman was first described as having B.O stuck to the synthetic fabric of her clothes and then her vagina described as a warm affectionate rabbit springing forth. Dire.
So, I gave up the Franzen, but it still sits there on my Kindle like a rebuke. Haha, you haven't finished me, I beat you!! But part of the challenge that I've now given myself, partly because of the Franzen and partly because I'm just anal that way, is that I have to finish all the book for it to count. So, one day when I feel like I can brave it, I shall return to The Corrections and tough it out. If anyone is reading this, and has read the book and can give me hope that it improves please do. Eventually I will update this post with a full review :-)
This post should really be called 'The Problem with The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen" - I haven't finished it and have at present left it dangling in mid air in what is pretty early days of the novel.
It first caught my attention when I read that Oprah Winfrey had tried to select it for her Book Club and had been flatly refused by Franzen, saying he didn't want it to be included among books which he saw as "schmaltzy" and overly sentimental. At some point, he had a change of heart, no doubt realising that an Oprah recommendation creates a massive bump in sales, and has more recently allowed his new work Freedom to be part of Oprah's Book Club. For some reason I got it into my head that The Corrections must be one of the great American novels, and decided I must read it at some point. That point came and although the novel is meant to be about a woman trying to get her three children home for Christmas, I have thus far only read about Chip, one of the sons, a university lecturer who has lost his job following an ill advised relationship with a student and is trying to get a novel published.
The writing is terrible, truly truly terrible, and my tipping point with it came during a sex scene in which a woman was first described as having B.O stuck to the synthetic fabric of her clothes and then her vagina described as a warm affectionate rabbit springing forth. Dire.
So, I gave up the Franzen, but it still sits there on my Kindle like a rebuke. Haha, you haven't finished me, I beat you!! But part of the challenge that I've now given myself, partly because of the Franzen and partly because I'm just anal that way, is that I have to finish all the book for it to count. So, one day when I feel like I can brave it, I shall return to The Corrections and tough it out. If anyone is reading this, and has read the book and can give me hope that it improves please do. Eventually I will update this post with a full review :-)
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