The Heart Of The Matter
The Heart Of The Matter by Graham Greene was my Book Club's choice this month. It is the third Graham Greene novel I have read after The End Of The Affair and The Human Factor. Having read those novels, I had some idea of what to expect here, and indeed the novel shares a number of deep similarities to The End Of The Affair.
Having since googled this, four of Greene's novels, including Heart Of The Matter and End Of The Affair examined Catholic themes with Heart Of The Matter being the final one. Some at my Book Club could not understand why the protagonist becomes so deeply religious towards the end, but I, having grown up in modern Catholicism with an awareness of its history, could.
The unforgiving Catholicism on show here, in the days of the Tridentine Rite and prior to the Second Vatican Council is one I think not easily understood by a lay reader, which I think makes the book lose something in translation to the non-religious or non-Catholic.
Aside from this issue the novel covers a number of other themes. First and foremost it is a novel about Colonials and Colonial society. Various Brits abroad, largely public school educated, despairing of the heat and disparaging of the natives, illustrating as they go via their behaviour the levels to which the British Empire damaged various nations and their peoples with their sense of paternalistic right and entitlement.
Our protagonist is Scobie, and our colony is a "West African State" later revealed by Greene to be Sierra Leone. Scobie is that rare thing, an honest man who likes the people and seeks to do the job well, something which makes he and his wife objects of unpopularity and scorn. As the novel turns, and Scobie is forced to act in an unprincipled way, his popularity increases, a remark perhaps aimed by Greene at the corrupt nature of those who enter Foreign Service.
It is a very male book set in a man's world and I found myself frustrated that we only see women in this book in the way Scobie views them, as needy and a burden. The two main female characters Helen and Louise are two-dimensional with only merest hints that they are more than Scobie is allowing them to be. Other men like Wilson, Bagster and Harris are priggish and annoying, and perhaps in some respects, stereotypes.
Despite this the prose itself is engaging, though the novel does not really become consistently readable until perhaps mid-way through. It has dated, but is also an interesting portrait of its time, both historically speaking and in terms of comparative literature.
It is an interesting book, and I enjoyed certain lines of prose very much, but this being my third Greene, I feel like I've got a certain handle now on the type of novel he wrote and can't say I'm eager to read his complete works.
Verdict 7/10
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
Book #11 The Invention Of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
The Invention Of Wings
The Invention Of Wings is the third Sue Monk Kidd novel I have read following The Mermaid Chair and the highly regarded The Secret Life Of Bees.
The novel works as a dual narrative, switching between daughter of wealthy plantation owners Sarah Grimke and her slave girl Handful whom she is "given" as a gift on her 11th Birthday to literally be her personal slave.
Where this story alters from standard slave/mistress or slave/master stories is that Sarah despite her background and upbringing is vehemently pro-abolition daring and incurring the wrath and disapproval of the society she finds herself in. She refuses the gift when Handful is presented to her only to be punished and to have the honour forced upon her in the coming days.
Both Sarah and Handful are beautifully drawn as the novel follows them from childhood right through to their early 40s. Sarah is a unique and fairly admirable character, repeatedly flying in the face of what would be the easiest and most comfortable for her and her own life to stand up for her rights as a woman and the rights of all women.
I was really glad to read this novel, for too often, stories like this are told in a pardon-the-pun black and white way. We rarely if ever hear the voice of the minority white in the slavery era, who thought slavery was abominable and strove to change it. It also stays honest, at times we see Sarah Grimke, though a heroine, her heart in the right place, act in the racist way that has been indoctrinated in her.
I thought it was unique and clever and then wondered : But is this realistic, would a person with the background of Sarah Grimke ever have been able to do this? Ever acted in such a way in the face of such huge censure, at one point unable to return to her family home for fear of being lynched?
Imagine my delight therefore to discover upon closing an Authors Note that revealed Sarah Grimke was in fact a very real person, who did many if not all of the things ascribed to her. I had never heard of her before and this seems a real pity as she truly was a heroine of her time. The novel also made me question, question if I had been born Sarah Grimke or someone like her, would I have been brave enough to stand up the way she did or would I have conformed? I really hope I would have been brave.
Whether Handful ever existed or certainly the Handful that is portrayed is unlikely and unknown which seems a shame - and a little like a betrayal of all the real Handfuls who did. The story begins with Sarah's refusal of her, a real event, and so in some ways it would have been a further betrayal of those women to have the girl who was offered and rejected be silent in the novel, but her story cannot be considered authentic in the way that Sarah's is.
I would love to see this made into a Hollywood film mainly because Sarah Grimke deserves to be more widely known, and the story of the women who were part of the abolition movement more widely honoured.
Verdict 10/10
The Invention Of Wings is the third Sue Monk Kidd novel I have read following The Mermaid Chair and the highly regarded The Secret Life Of Bees.
The novel works as a dual narrative, switching between daughter of wealthy plantation owners Sarah Grimke and her slave girl Handful whom she is "given" as a gift on her 11th Birthday to literally be her personal slave.
Where this story alters from standard slave/mistress or slave/master stories is that Sarah despite her background and upbringing is vehemently pro-abolition daring and incurring the wrath and disapproval of the society she finds herself in. She refuses the gift when Handful is presented to her only to be punished and to have the honour forced upon her in the coming days.
Both Sarah and Handful are beautifully drawn as the novel follows them from childhood right through to their early 40s. Sarah is a unique and fairly admirable character, repeatedly flying in the face of what would be the easiest and most comfortable for her and her own life to stand up for her rights as a woman and the rights of all women.
I was really glad to read this novel, for too often, stories like this are told in a pardon-the-pun black and white way. We rarely if ever hear the voice of the minority white in the slavery era, who thought slavery was abominable and strove to change it. It also stays honest, at times we see Sarah Grimke, though a heroine, her heart in the right place, act in the racist way that has been indoctrinated in her.
I thought it was unique and clever and then wondered : But is this realistic, would a person with the background of Sarah Grimke ever have been able to do this? Ever acted in such a way in the face of such huge censure, at one point unable to return to her family home for fear of being lynched?
Imagine my delight therefore to discover upon closing an Authors Note that revealed Sarah Grimke was in fact a very real person, who did many if not all of the things ascribed to her. I had never heard of her before and this seems a real pity as she truly was a heroine of her time. The novel also made me question, question if I had been born Sarah Grimke or someone like her, would I have been brave enough to stand up the way she did or would I have conformed? I really hope I would have been brave.
Whether Handful ever existed or certainly the Handful that is portrayed is unlikely and unknown which seems a shame - and a little like a betrayal of all the real Handfuls who did. The story begins with Sarah's refusal of her, a real event, and so in some ways it would have been a further betrayal of those women to have the girl who was offered and rejected be silent in the novel, but her story cannot be considered authentic in the way that Sarah's is.
I would love to see this made into a Hollywood film mainly because Sarah Grimke deserves to be more widely known, and the story of the women who were part of the abolition movement more widely honoured.
Verdict 10/10
Saturday, 26 April 2014
Book #10 Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn
Ella Minnow Pea
I somewhat rather hopefully stated the other day on Twitter that I had only read 12 books so far this year and what a disappointment this is. My life is a lie, as a quick blog check revealed I have only read 10, this book Ella Minnow Pea is the tenth. I have two others in progress so at least that's something.
At least, if I have slowed down in my reading output I have by consequence become more discerning in what I read. Ella Minnow Pea was my Book Club's book this month, so I didn't really choose it per se, but if I'm being more selective about what I give my precious reading time to, I'm really glad that I gave some of that time to Ella Minnow Pea.
It's a book about language and words, and their vital purpose for human beings, Mark Dunn takes this idea to its furthest point and shows how it is not just words but the letters which comprise them that prove essential to human beings, and the vanishing of even one letter - never mind several - proves catastrophic.
As a wider concept the book is a commentary on a number of issues besides language and linguistics - essentially it's a dystopia about Freedom Of Speech and censorship but via its construct, it also takes a rather good aim at both totalitarianism and religious dogma.
Though a short book, in terms of the nature of the premise, it's an incredibly difficult feat to pull off in writing terms and must have been a genuine challenge, yet Mark Dunn rises to this challenge with aplomb.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel, and have already started recommending it.
10/10
I somewhat rather hopefully stated the other day on Twitter that I had only read 12 books so far this year and what a disappointment this is. My life is a lie, as a quick blog check revealed I have only read 10, this book Ella Minnow Pea is the tenth. I have two others in progress so at least that's something.
At least, if I have slowed down in my reading output I have by consequence become more discerning in what I read. Ella Minnow Pea was my Book Club's book this month, so I didn't really choose it per se, but if I'm being more selective about what I give my precious reading time to, I'm really glad that I gave some of that time to Ella Minnow Pea.
It's a book about language and words, and their vital purpose for human beings, Mark Dunn takes this idea to its furthest point and shows how it is not just words but the letters which comprise them that prove essential to human beings, and the vanishing of even one letter - never mind several - proves catastrophic.
As a wider concept the book is a commentary on a number of issues besides language and linguistics - essentially it's a dystopia about Freedom Of Speech and censorship but via its construct, it also takes a rather good aim at both totalitarianism and religious dogma.
Though a short book, in terms of the nature of the premise, it's an incredibly difficult feat to pull off in writing terms and must have been a genuine challenge, yet Mark Dunn rises to this challenge with aplomb.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel, and have already started recommending it.
10/10
Saturday, 8 March 2014
Book #9 Tarantula by Thierry Jonquet
Tarantula
Tarantula by French writer Thierry Jonquet is the novel upon which Pedro Almodovar based his 2011 film The Skin I Live In.
When I saw The Skin I Live In I thought it was quite breathtakingly original and I was floored by the films central twist.
To read Tarantula was odd then because I knew exactly what was coming and was unsurprised which takes the central shock value of the book away, but even without the foreknowledge of the having seen the film, the books events are heavily signposted in a way that the film just wasn't (at least for me)
The film made several departures from the book too, and with the exception perhaps of the end, which should have stayed true, were just better ideas.
Those parts which focused on Alex over Richard and Eve were just plain dull at times.
You'll note that I have said very little of the plot or events in this review, that's because The Skin I Live In was just such a jaw dropping film that I would hate to ruin it for anyone.
I feel that I cannot say the same of Tarantula which just doesn't have the same impact.
Verdict : 6/10
Tarantula by French writer Thierry Jonquet is the novel upon which Pedro Almodovar based his 2011 film The Skin I Live In.
When I saw The Skin I Live In I thought it was quite breathtakingly original and I was floored by the films central twist.
To read Tarantula was odd then because I knew exactly what was coming and was unsurprised which takes the central shock value of the book away, but even without the foreknowledge of the having seen the film, the books events are heavily signposted in a way that the film just wasn't (at least for me)
The film made several departures from the book too, and with the exception perhaps of the end, which should have stayed true, were just better ideas.
Those parts which focused on Alex over Richard and Eve were just plain dull at times.
You'll note that I have said very little of the plot or events in this review, that's because The Skin I Live In was just such a jaw dropping film that I would hate to ruin it for anyone.
I feel that I cannot say the same of Tarantula which just doesn't have the same impact.
Verdict : 6/10
Book #8 The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows
The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society
The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society was recommended to me by my friend Jennie from Book Club.
Annie Barrows was Mary Ann Shaffer's niece and worked to get her novel completed and published posthumously, it is lovely to find out that Mary Ann died knowing that her book would be published worldwide even if she didn't get to see this happen.
The story takes place on Guernsey during World War Two, which as many know but increasingly many don't, was, though British territory, occupied by Nazi Forces during the war.
We pick up the story post-war in the 50s as writer Juliet, formally a war columnist, casts about for her next project. Her project finds her when she strikes up a correspondence with Dawsey Adams and subsequently his friends and begins to learn what the Islanders went through during wartime.
Though it is set during a really grim and grueling period of history for Guernsey there is something just persistently joyous about this book. Told in letters, the voices of the different characters come through really well and each maintain uniqueness, often it is funny, the letter written when Juliet requests a character reference from a woman who hates her for example. Often it is quaint, but in the best of ways, all 'Jolly Ho!" and "Toodle Pip!" the vernacular of the day really shines through, and feels genuinely authentic.
I loved all the supporting characters as much as the lead, and I liked how the writer managed to trick me into making an incorrect assumption about a relationship. There is something just so heartwarming about it all. The phrase 'testament to the human spirit' gets bandied about in lots of literary criticism but in this case it genuinely applies.
Some might dismiss this as 'fluff' and perhaps a 'girls book' but they would be guilty of being a book snob to do so.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and would give it 10/10
The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society was recommended to me by my friend Jennie from Book Club.
Annie Barrows was Mary Ann Shaffer's niece and worked to get her novel completed and published posthumously, it is lovely to find out that Mary Ann died knowing that her book would be published worldwide even if she didn't get to see this happen.
The story takes place on Guernsey during World War Two, which as many know but increasingly many don't, was, though British territory, occupied by Nazi Forces during the war.
We pick up the story post-war in the 50s as writer Juliet, formally a war columnist, casts about for her next project. Her project finds her when she strikes up a correspondence with Dawsey Adams and subsequently his friends and begins to learn what the Islanders went through during wartime.
Though it is set during a really grim and grueling period of history for Guernsey there is something just persistently joyous about this book. Told in letters, the voices of the different characters come through really well and each maintain uniqueness, often it is funny, the letter written when Juliet requests a character reference from a woman who hates her for example. Often it is quaint, but in the best of ways, all 'Jolly Ho!" and "Toodle Pip!" the vernacular of the day really shines through, and feels genuinely authentic.
I loved all the supporting characters as much as the lead, and I liked how the writer managed to trick me into making an incorrect assumption about a relationship. There is something just so heartwarming about it all. The phrase 'testament to the human spirit' gets bandied about in lots of literary criticism but in this case it genuinely applies.
Some might dismiss this as 'fluff' and perhaps a 'girls book' but they would be guilty of being a book snob to do so.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and would give it 10/10
Thursday, 6 February 2014
Book #7 Paper Towns by John Green
Paper Towns
At the end of 2012 - I read The Fault In Our Stars, the young adult romance novel by John Green, and thought it was a classy affair with real crossover merit. Many people my own age have also read it and recommended it to me, including just the other day a friend of mine from uni days. A film of The Fault In Our Stars is set to appear at a cinema near you shortly.
What then of the rest of John Green's output? I've just got round to a second one of his now and chose Paper Towns.
This novel is told from the perspective of Quentin, one night school Queen Bee Margo who was once his friend and lives next door appears at his window and makes him join her on a series of revenge pranks in the middle of the night and then promptly vanishes leaving Quentin and his friends to decipher the mystery of her whereabouts.
There's a lot to like about Paper Towns and I'll start with that, for every girl with a complicated internal life there is something to identify with in Margo. She's the girl with a million records whose friends don't even know she likes music. The girl with a copy of Leaves Of Grass by Walt Whitman whose friends don't even know she likes poetry. The popular girl at the centre of things who knows she's faking it all.
She's the girl who keeps going missing because she needs to be found. And the girl who wants to stay lost too.
Margo is a great character - fascinating even, though perhaps with some annoying hipster tendencies.
Margo is the best thing about this novel - but she is also its biggest problem.
The book isn't about Margo. It's about Quentin. Quentin and his friends Ben and Radar - later joined by Lacey who are searching for Margo.
And there's nothing of note about any of them really; Quentin IMs his friends, they play video games, they scour the equivalent of Wikipedia for Margo clues and live out standard American High School Outsider tropes about which there is nothing original.
The only thing that is interesting about Quentin is 'Quentin in relation to Margo' - he's not interesting outside of her. The essential point that John Green is making about people with this novel and it's a great point and one particularly worth making to young people I think, is about how Quentin relates to Margo.
At the beginning of the novel Quentin counts it as a miracle that he ever knew Margo, that she ever happened to be his next door neighbour.
Quentin has an idea, a concept, of the person that he believes Margo to be, he's built it all in his mind, this idea that he has of her, is an impression that he's decided upon. It's an interesting lesson about how we, and it applies to adults too, carry ideals or mistaken beliefs about people based upon the narrative we have imposed upon them ourselves.
Margo, Quentin realises eventually is not a miracle, she's just a troubled girl and nothing more or less than that.
And this is such a good book for young people just for that lesson, but it's a mistake that adults including myself are often guilty of making; of expecting superhuman behaviour from people who we put on a pedestal who ultimately are just as human and fallible as we are.
A good book with a great secondary character 7/10 for Paper Towns the bulk of which didn't engage me - 10/10 for Margo herself.
At the end of 2012 - I read The Fault In Our Stars, the young adult romance novel by John Green, and thought it was a classy affair with real crossover merit. Many people my own age have also read it and recommended it to me, including just the other day a friend of mine from uni days. A film of The Fault In Our Stars is set to appear at a cinema near you shortly.
What then of the rest of John Green's output? I've just got round to a second one of his now and chose Paper Towns.
This novel is told from the perspective of Quentin, one night school Queen Bee Margo who was once his friend and lives next door appears at his window and makes him join her on a series of revenge pranks in the middle of the night and then promptly vanishes leaving Quentin and his friends to decipher the mystery of her whereabouts.
There's a lot to like about Paper Towns and I'll start with that, for every girl with a complicated internal life there is something to identify with in Margo. She's the girl with a million records whose friends don't even know she likes music. The girl with a copy of Leaves Of Grass by Walt Whitman whose friends don't even know she likes poetry. The popular girl at the centre of things who knows she's faking it all.
She's the girl who keeps going missing because she needs to be found. And the girl who wants to stay lost too.
Margo is a great character - fascinating even, though perhaps with some annoying hipster tendencies.
Margo is the best thing about this novel - but she is also its biggest problem.
The book isn't about Margo. It's about Quentin. Quentin and his friends Ben and Radar - later joined by Lacey who are searching for Margo.
And there's nothing of note about any of them really; Quentin IMs his friends, they play video games, they scour the equivalent of Wikipedia for Margo clues and live out standard American High School Outsider tropes about which there is nothing original.
The only thing that is interesting about Quentin is 'Quentin in relation to Margo' - he's not interesting outside of her. The essential point that John Green is making about people with this novel and it's a great point and one particularly worth making to young people I think, is about how Quentin relates to Margo.
At the beginning of the novel Quentin counts it as a miracle that he ever knew Margo, that she ever happened to be his next door neighbour.
Quentin has an idea, a concept, of the person that he believes Margo to be, he's built it all in his mind, this idea that he has of her, is an impression that he's decided upon. It's an interesting lesson about how we, and it applies to adults too, carry ideals or mistaken beliefs about people based upon the narrative we have imposed upon them ourselves.
Margo, Quentin realises eventually is not a miracle, she's just a troubled girl and nothing more or less than that.
And this is such a good book for young people just for that lesson, but it's a mistake that adults including myself are often guilty of making; of expecting superhuman behaviour from people who we put on a pedestal who ultimately are just as human and fallible as we are.
A good book with a great secondary character 7/10 for Paper Towns the bulk of which didn't engage me - 10/10 for Margo herself.
Monday, 3 February 2014
Book #6 From Russia With Love by Ian Fleming
From Russia With Love
I should perhaps say first that this is the only James Bond novel I have ever read. It will probably remain the only James Bond novel I have ever read.
As far as James Bond goes, I have only seen 4 fllms in their entirety, GoldenEye and the first three Daniel Craigs. The older Classic James Bonds exist in a hazy fog of Bank Holidays and rain and I wouldn’t be able to tell you which of the scenes I recall came from which film.
Why on earth then would I read a James Bond novel? I actually went into the shop to buy a different book, had a hard time finding it and as I looked around ‘From Russia With Love’ for extenuating reasons I won’t bother going into seemed to gaze out at me from the shelf shouting ‘Go on, Pick Me’ so I did.
I spent almost the entirety of this novel open mouthed or laughing in appalled fascination.
My eyes just boggled at the page the vast majority of the time. I couldn’t believe what I was reading at certain points.
This review, given that both the book and the film are very old will have spoilers in it, so if as with the football results you don’t want to know look away now. I can’t discuss all the bits I want to without spoilers.
Firstly the opening is quite a long preamble - Bond doesn’t appear for 129 pages and all the pages prior introduce the villain, the girl and the plot.
The plot of this novel is a standard honeytrap, the Russians are sending a girl in to trick Bond, then the villain, a hulking Irish gun for hire will off him, causing a blow to British Intelligence.
Inevitably, it is with the entrance of Bond where things get ‘good‘ (though I use good loosely) Really it is with the entrance of Bond that things become hilarious, and beggar belief.
In a nutshell the Russian strategy is this, their bird, Tatiana walks up to a British Intelligence contact and says : “Hey, by the way I’m a Russian Spy, and I’m in love with James Bond and if you get me James Bond I’ll give you secrets” - what’s amazing about this is not that as international espionage traps go it’s a pretty shit plan of action which should have seen her taken and brought in for questioning immediately, but how James Bond and his boss M react to it.
M and Bond’s reaction is astounding and goes something like this; M: Yes it sounds a bit silly, but all women are silly fools, so it’s probably true
Bond : I TOTALLY BELIEVE THAT I AM SUCH A TESTOSTERONE FUELLED DESIRABLE GOD THAT I CAN MAKE A WOMAN COME INTO HER KNICKERS BY LOOKING AT WHAT IS PROBABLY A REALLY DODGY POLAROID OF ME THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
Bond is basically Gaston in the Disney cartoon ‘Beauty and The Beast’
At no point does either state the obvious “This is BLATANTLY a honeytrap, but go investigate and see what we get out of it”
Something remarkable happens here, and it is remarkable in that it is the only instance of sexual equality in the entire novel, and based on what I’ve read in this one potentially the entire series. M basically just pimps Bond out like a whore in the same way the Russians are pimping Tatiana out and tells him “he’d better come up to expectations”.
Bond is cool with that.
Next up we meet prince among men Darko Kerim, Bond’s contact in Turkey, Kerim gives Bond his opinions on women : “They’re all liars. You can only tell if they love you by having sex with them” His opinions on the locals : “They’re miserable. They want sultans and wars and rape and fun” (Because those last two things are just SYNONYMOUS with each other) and then regales him with the exotic tale of how he once won a woman in a bet and she wasn’t happy about it so he chained her up naked under a table like a dog to train her. His mother was displeased and rescued her but she refused to leave. WHICH JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU IT WAS ALWAYS IN HER BEST INTERESTS.
(I just want to pause for a moment to reflect on the fact he's Turkish and called DARKO. Jesus Wept)
Bond’s reaction to Darko Kerim can be summarised as follows : “What a lad. I’m so impressed. I want us to be best friends.”
As soon as this is stated you just know Kerim is going to die, as per the rules of the game “Spot The Stiff” (From 90s comedy sketch show The Mary Whitehouse Experience)
Duly, this occurs, what a loss for all the women of Turkey.
As part of the Darko Kerim sexist roadshow he takes Bond to a gypsy camp. But there’s a problem. Two girls have fallen out over the same bloke, so somewhat like Harry Hill, the leader of the gypsies has decided this can only be resolved with a FIGHT.
Kerim asks Bond to not interfere. Bond is like “Two women having a fight? Cool with it”
In a scene which surely only exists for titilation these two scantily clad girls scrap whilst Bond ogles their boobs. Bond is so obsessed with boobs that at one point he is aroused by THE SHAPE OF A MOSQUE. A MOSQUE! (p166)
A diversion occurs and Kerim and Bond have a fight with some Bulgarians; at the end of this the gypsy leader tells Bond that if he won’t stay around to help kill people and keep women in line then by all means he can come back whenever he likes and have sex with either or both of the girls UNTIL SUCH A TIME AS THEIR BREASTS HAVE SAGGED.
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS.
I’m a massive fan of the series Mad Men and of its hero Don Draper, who shares many of Bond’s qualities. I was fascinated by this book in the same way that Mad Men fascinates me. My mother’s opinion is “you wouldn’t marvel at it if you’d had to live through it”. The very fact of its publication is fascinating.
I mean it’s just so abhorrent, it does feel like another planet not just another time. The chauvinism is just endless, at one point Bond tells Tatiana he will beat her if she becomes overweight. They are both cool with this. There is also some random homophobia thrown in early on which seems to serve purely as a reminder to all the real men who will be reading this novel that no-one likes a queer.
Given that recently a Bond Cologne and Aftershave were released my absolute favourite bit of this novel is the bit where Tatiana asks Bond why Englishmen don’t wear perfume and he says shortly “We wash”
Even though he only says “we wash” it’s like this big Caveman sentence can be inferred :
AFTERSHAVE???!!! AFTERSHAVE IS FOR RUSSIANS AND PANSIES!!!! I AM A MAN SMELL MY MANLY MAN SWEAT
Brilliant.
I have to give a mention to the baddy of the piece Donovan Grant. There is a real instance here of Bond being an absolutely crap spy, he totally buys that Grant is a fellow British agent purely because Grant is a walking cliche in faded tweeds and an ancient mac that the Russians have lately hauled out of the Props department - huh? I mean, come on Bond! Bond is suspicious of him because he has tied his tie with a Windsor Knot and this is "the mark of a cad" - Bond should have trusted his instincts, for my part I want to know what a Windsor Knot looks like so I can be on the look out for potential cads.
UPDATE : Having since googled The Windsor Knot, it is basically how every man I have ever met ties a tie HOW WILL I SPOT POTENTIAL CADS NOW?! AND IF JAMES BOND DOESN'T USE THE WINDSOR KNOT HOW THE FUCK DOES HE TIE HIS TIE? This requires investigation!
The most jaw dropping aspect of the whole depiction of Grant is his alleged mental illness, Bond looks into his eyes and in a second armchair diagnoses Schizophrenia, Grant is also called ‘manic depressive’
Grant is someone who goes out on murderous rampages at every Full Moon.
THIS IS NOT A MENTALLY ILL PERSON. THIS IS A WEREWOLF.
Bond is fighting a werewolf.
In true Bond villain fashion, the werewolf gives Bond a 30 minute window BEFORE he kills him during which he divulges the entirety of the plan plus extras.
Why do they do this?
Also considering he’s a werewolf, Bond doesn’t really have much trouble with him. Because he’s Bond.
I have come to a certain conclusion about James Bond, the novels at least. They are the male literary equivalent of Fifty Shades Of Grey. They are a like for like comparison. Fifty Shades Of Grey isn’t just selling BDSM sex to the masses it’s also selling ‘lifestyle porn’ Christian Grey as a ‘hero‘ owns a yacht, flies a helicopter, has a ski lodge, a massive apartment, buys his girlfriend 2 Audis and a Saab, a Mac, an iPad, a first edition Thomas Hardy, and a raft of designer clothes. He also gives her an orgasm every few hours.
Bond is lifestyle porn for boys, not only do all these nubile fragile beauties permanently throw themselves at you, but you always rise to the occasion, you are an international spy extraordinaire who can even make short work of a werewolf.
I totally get what the appeal of ‘being James Bond‘ is. It’s the same appeal of ‘being Don Draper‘ - king of all he surveys. And,Don Draper though he is an absolute bastard is sexy.
But, how sexy would he be in real life? He’d probably be the worst creep you’d ever met without even having the decency to look even remotely like John Hamm or Daniel Craig.
There is but one singular instance in this novel where vile, vain, sexist, fat shaming, homophobic befriender and endorser of rapists James Bond is actually sexy.
Tatiana is sleeping and James is watching her, if she wakes he intends to reassure her that everything is alright and settle her back down to sleep with the security that he’ll protect her.
That I will grant you is very sweet.
I can’t even give an out of ten verdict on this because I don’t know what I made of it.
I was vastly entertained by it - but really for all the opposite of the reasons why I was actually meant to be.
The odd thing was it ended on a cliffhanger with Bond will return in Dr No and I couldn't help but wonder what happened next.......
I should perhaps say first that this is the only James Bond novel I have ever read. It will probably remain the only James Bond novel I have ever read.
As far as James Bond goes, I have only seen 4 fllms in their entirety, GoldenEye and the first three Daniel Craigs. The older Classic James Bonds exist in a hazy fog of Bank Holidays and rain and I wouldn’t be able to tell you which of the scenes I recall came from which film.
Why on earth then would I read a James Bond novel? I actually went into the shop to buy a different book, had a hard time finding it and as I looked around ‘From Russia With Love’ for extenuating reasons I won’t bother going into seemed to gaze out at me from the shelf shouting ‘Go on, Pick Me’ so I did.
I spent almost the entirety of this novel open mouthed or laughing in appalled fascination.
My eyes just boggled at the page the vast majority of the time. I couldn’t believe what I was reading at certain points.
This review, given that both the book and the film are very old will have spoilers in it, so if as with the football results you don’t want to know look away now. I can’t discuss all the bits I want to without spoilers.
Firstly the opening is quite a long preamble - Bond doesn’t appear for 129 pages and all the pages prior introduce the villain, the girl and the plot.
The plot of this novel is a standard honeytrap, the Russians are sending a girl in to trick Bond, then the villain, a hulking Irish gun for hire will off him, causing a blow to British Intelligence.
Inevitably, it is with the entrance of Bond where things get ‘good‘ (though I use good loosely) Really it is with the entrance of Bond that things become hilarious, and beggar belief.
In a nutshell the Russian strategy is this, their bird, Tatiana walks up to a British Intelligence contact and says : “Hey, by the way I’m a Russian Spy, and I’m in love with James Bond and if you get me James Bond I’ll give you secrets” - what’s amazing about this is not that as international espionage traps go it’s a pretty shit plan of action which should have seen her taken and brought in for questioning immediately, but how James Bond and his boss M react to it.
M and Bond’s reaction is astounding and goes something like this; M: Yes it sounds a bit silly, but all women are silly fools, so it’s probably true
Bond : I TOTALLY BELIEVE THAT I AM SUCH A TESTOSTERONE FUELLED DESIRABLE GOD THAT I CAN MAKE A WOMAN COME INTO HER KNICKERS BY LOOKING AT WHAT IS PROBABLY A REALLY DODGY POLAROID OF ME THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
Bond is basically Gaston in the Disney cartoon ‘Beauty and The Beast’
At no point does either state the obvious “This is BLATANTLY a honeytrap, but go investigate and see what we get out of it”
Something remarkable happens here, and it is remarkable in that it is the only instance of sexual equality in the entire novel, and based on what I’ve read in this one potentially the entire series. M basically just pimps Bond out like a whore in the same way the Russians are pimping Tatiana out and tells him “he’d better come up to expectations”.
Bond is cool with that.
Next up we meet prince among men Darko Kerim, Bond’s contact in Turkey, Kerim gives Bond his opinions on women : “They’re all liars. You can only tell if they love you by having sex with them” His opinions on the locals : “They’re miserable. They want sultans and wars and rape and fun” (Because those last two things are just SYNONYMOUS with each other) and then regales him with the exotic tale of how he once won a woman in a bet and she wasn’t happy about it so he chained her up naked under a table like a dog to train her. His mother was displeased and rescued her but she refused to leave. WHICH JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU IT WAS ALWAYS IN HER BEST INTERESTS.
(I just want to pause for a moment to reflect on the fact he's Turkish and called DARKO. Jesus Wept)
Bond’s reaction to Darko Kerim can be summarised as follows : “What a lad. I’m so impressed. I want us to be best friends.”
As soon as this is stated you just know Kerim is going to die, as per the rules of the game “Spot The Stiff” (From 90s comedy sketch show The Mary Whitehouse Experience)
Duly, this occurs, what a loss for all the women of Turkey.
As part of the Darko Kerim sexist roadshow he takes Bond to a gypsy camp. But there’s a problem. Two girls have fallen out over the same bloke, so somewhat like Harry Hill, the leader of the gypsies has decided this can only be resolved with a FIGHT.
Kerim asks Bond to not interfere. Bond is like “Two women having a fight? Cool with it”
In a scene which surely only exists for titilation these two scantily clad girls scrap whilst Bond ogles their boobs. Bond is so obsessed with boobs that at one point he is aroused by THE SHAPE OF A MOSQUE. A MOSQUE! (p166)
A diversion occurs and Kerim and Bond have a fight with some Bulgarians; at the end of this the gypsy leader tells Bond that if he won’t stay around to help kill people and keep women in line then by all means he can come back whenever he likes and have sex with either or both of the girls UNTIL SUCH A TIME AS THEIR BREASTS HAVE SAGGED.
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS.
I’m a massive fan of the series Mad Men and of its hero Don Draper, who shares many of Bond’s qualities. I was fascinated by this book in the same way that Mad Men fascinates me. My mother’s opinion is “you wouldn’t marvel at it if you’d had to live through it”. The very fact of its publication is fascinating.
I mean it’s just so abhorrent, it does feel like another planet not just another time. The chauvinism is just endless, at one point Bond tells Tatiana he will beat her if she becomes overweight. They are both cool with this. There is also some random homophobia thrown in early on which seems to serve purely as a reminder to all the real men who will be reading this novel that no-one likes a queer.
Given that recently a Bond Cologne and Aftershave were released my absolute favourite bit of this novel is the bit where Tatiana asks Bond why Englishmen don’t wear perfume and he says shortly “We wash”
Even though he only says “we wash” it’s like this big Caveman sentence can be inferred :
AFTERSHAVE???!!! AFTERSHAVE IS FOR RUSSIANS AND PANSIES!!!! I AM A MAN SMELL MY MANLY MAN SWEAT
Brilliant.
I have to give a mention to the baddy of the piece Donovan Grant. There is a real instance here of Bond being an absolutely crap spy, he totally buys that Grant is a fellow British agent purely because Grant is a walking cliche in faded tweeds and an ancient mac that the Russians have lately hauled out of the Props department - huh? I mean, come on Bond! Bond is suspicious of him because he has tied his tie with a Windsor Knot and this is "the mark of a cad" - Bond should have trusted his instincts, for my part I want to know what a Windsor Knot looks like so I can be on the look out for potential cads.
UPDATE : Having since googled The Windsor Knot, it is basically how every man I have ever met ties a tie HOW WILL I SPOT POTENTIAL CADS NOW?! AND IF JAMES BOND DOESN'T USE THE WINDSOR KNOT HOW THE FUCK DOES HE TIE HIS TIE? This requires investigation!
The most jaw dropping aspect of the whole depiction of Grant is his alleged mental illness, Bond looks into his eyes and in a second armchair diagnoses Schizophrenia, Grant is also called ‘manic depressive’
Grant is someone who goes out on murderous rampages at every Full Moon.
THIS IS NOT A MENTALLY ILL PERSON. THIS IS A WEREWOLF.
Bond is fighting a werewolf.
In true Bond villain fashion, the werewolf gives Bond a 30 minute window BEFORE he kills him during which he divulges the entirety of the plan plus extras.
Why do they do this?
Also considering he’s a werewolf, Bond doesn’t really have much trouble with him. Because he’s Bond.
I have come to a certain conclusion about James Bond, the novels at least. They are the male literary equivalent of Fifty Shades Of Grey. They are a like for like comparison. Fifty Shades Of Grey isn’t just selling BDSM sex to the masses it’s also selling ‘lifestyle porn’ Christian Grey as a ‘hero‘ owns a yacht, flies a helicopter, has a ski lodge, a massive apartment, buys his girlfriend 2 Audis and a Saab, a Mac, an iPad, a first edition Thomas Hardy, and a raft of designer clothes. He also gives her an orgasm every few hours.
Bond is lifestyle porn for boys, not only do all these nubile fragile beauties permanently throw themselves at you, but you always rise to the occasion, you are an international spy extraordinaire who can even make short work of a werewolf.
I totally get what the appeal of ‘being James Bond‘ is. It’s the same appeal of ‘being Don Draper‘ - king of all he surveys. And,Don Draper though he is an absolute bastard is sexy.
But, how sexy would he be in real life? He’d probably be the worst creep you’d ever met without even having the decency to look even remotely like John Hamm or Daniel Craig.
There is but one singular instance in this novel where vile, vain, sexist, fat shaming, homophobic befriender and endorser of rapists James Bond is actually sexy.
Tatiana is sleeping and James is watching her, if she wakes he intends to reassure her that everything is alright and settle her back down to sleep with the security that he’ll protect her.
That I will grant you is very sweet.
I can’t even give an out of ten verdict on this because I don’t know what I made of it.
I was vastly entertained by it - but really for all the opposite of the reasons why I was actually meant to be.
The odd thing was it ended on a cliffhanger with Bond will return in Dr No and I couldn't help but wonder what happened next.......
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